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Texts - Ch.2 Boredom

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Ch. 2 A Case of Boredom

-----It had been utter child's play. John hadn't even the chance to join him. The investigation and the clues came together so quickly that his flatmate had only managed to pop in toward the end to corner the culprit. Sherlock knew that John would want all the details for his blog. Everything from the drowning being a murder and the cover-up being an insanely quick and clean installation. Although the sleuth detested those who wished to inflict upon the world their horrible opinionated writing, Sherlock found John's detailed online diary an interesting insight into the man's opinions and personality. If anything it was a way for him to detect how John felt regarding his sociopath roommate.
-----Removing his mobile as he walked down Cherry Crossing, Sherlock thumbed through the contacts before sending a message to Mycroft.

Case solved. Unauthorized frozen fish trade. Embezzlement. Northbank Construction: 2nd line manager.
-SH

Naturally. John's Browning will be on your sitting room table by the time you return. Do remind him to keep a closer eye on it won't you.
-MH

He hardly needs reminding.
-SH

Which is why I'm in possession of his gun, rather than him?
-MH

-----Sherlock was about to respond to his brother with a rather snappy quip but quickly realized that Mycroft's reply had been a blanket text, seeing as the next pip on the tall man's mobile was from his flatmate.

You took it from me!!!
-J

-----Within the next ten minutes Sherlock found himself bounding up the steps of 221B Baker Street. His worn leather loafers weren't exactly the running type, but they certainly were forced into such a state. Upon entering he found John focused entirely on his phone. Apparently he was still texting Mycroft.

Which reminds me, what is the state of the comestibles in your flat? Anything you'd like since I have to send someone by anyway?
-MH

Well now that you mention it, some kippers would be fantastic.
-J

Done.
-MH

Sherlock, do not bother complaining again about my feeding John. If you two are going to insist on believing me a petty thief, I insist on being allowed to show some redeeming value.
-MH

Sherlock's laughing hysterically now.
-J

I imagine you agree that's an acceptable outcome.
-MH

Not if it means no more whole milk deliveries.
-J

Shall I schedule them weekly or biweekly?
-MH

I'm afraid weekly is the entire fridge can handle with all the other bits and experiments Sherlock stores in it…
-J

Consider it done. Anything else you'll need regularly resupplied?
-MH

:)
-SH

Did you mention that to John or should I expect an angry text at time of delivery?
-MH

Oh…I wouldn't say angry. ;)
-SH

Sherlock, have you been engaging in substance abuse again? Mummy would not approve.
-MH

Like you give a damn what mum would think.
-SH

Girls. Let's not fight.
-J

Fair enough, Doctor. Further supplies scheduled for next week.
-MH

And when exactly was the last time you visited, mummy?
-MH

I can't remember. You would know. We make a habit of visitting at the same time. When was it then? Last Christmas?
-SH

It was her birthday. Now go play with John, I'm got to deal with Korea.
-MH

-----Sherlock snorted as he exited out of the texting interface on his phone and threw it on the far end of the couch he intended to fall onto. Mycroft was such a prat sometimes. What did it matter that he couldn't remember his own mother's birthday? And of course his brother always had an excuse to duck out of a conversation. Well at least the sleuth knew there was one thing not to be done and that was to "play" with his flatmate, for John had left for work just after his last exchange. In fact he had given Sherlock a very pointed look as he donned the old jumper that clearly said, "Please don't start another war with your brother while I'm gone."
-----Well, Sherlock had remained quite civil in his opinion. Though that still left him in the sighing sad state of being totally and completely bored witless. He flopped onto the old couch, his long body stretching the entire length as his arms hung awkwardly off the edge and upward along the back. Sherlock's rustled hair only became more mussed as he dug his face sideways into a pillow in frustration. He laid there for an hour just staring at the couch back and the corduroy buttons there. They reminded him of that horrible colour made from mixing all paints together or even just red and green. It was a horrible sort of brown and green. Feces or rubbish. That was a wonderful thought.
-----Sherlock bolted upright and immediately danced toward the kitchen in a frenzy. John had said to take out the trash earlier but it could provide some amusement now. He practically skipped to the rubbish bin and made quick work of shoving all the material on the kitchen table to one side in one giant arm sweep. Dumping the contents on the table, the detective began to work for at least two hours.
-----It wasn't until his mobile made a tell-tale pip that he moved out of his awkward position to answer. Stretching his muscles, Sherlock nabbed the device from between the couch cushions and touched the screen to bring up the dialogue.

Working late tonight at the clinic. Don't forget to take the rubbish out, Sherlock!
-J

Busy. and Bored.
-SH

How can you be busy and bored at the same time? That doesn't even make sense.
-J

I am Bored therefore I am conducting an experiment on that so called garbage so that you won't get shirty at me for adding to my art on the wall. Making me Busy. Really, John do keep up.
-SH

Please don't make a mess like you usually do. Mrs. Hudson will have another fit and I don't want to be responsible for her failing health.
-J

In response to your earlier request I am simply experimenting on some alternate methodologies for removing rubbish from our flat. And I do not usually make a mess.
-SH

Right. You don't usually make a mess. You /always/ make a mess.
-J

Insulting me when I'm alone in your flat admittedly handling garbage? Not clever, John.
-SH

Oh. Good to know it's my flat. Guess that means if you do any rubbish slinging, I can have Mrs. Hudson chuck you out.
-J

You'd miss me before the week was out.
-SH

Ah but you underestimate how much I appreciate a clean flat.
-J

You overestimate how long you can be away from me before you start limping.
-SH

The limp is psychological. I've gotten over it.
-J

The limp is a symptom of boredom. Speaking of being bored, you must be tired of wiping runny noses by now. Come home.
-SH

I can't just leave work. I've got six more appointments today! Boredom has nothing to do with it. I've got a job to do. Maybe you should get one so we can manage to pay Mrs. Hudson for the rent this month.
-J

Would you rather I cover rent, or catch murderers?
-SH

Oh don't play that game. You know my response so if that's the case, then stop harassing me while /I/ try and cover rent so we have some place to live.
-J

That's a surprisingly logical argument, John. Will you at least bring me some needles when you come home? For science. I promise.
-SH

No! I'm not going to just lift supplies for your experiments.
-J

But I'm Bored,  John.
-SH

Go pester Lestrade.
-J

Later when you are mad at me for harassing the Met, look back at this text, and remember it was your idea.
-SH

I'm deleting this entire conversation and denying that I ever sent these.
-J

I still have the evidence on my phone, John.
-SH

Yeah and you won't when I get back because you always make me grab it for you anyway.
-J

That would require you coming home, which you have already firmly refused to do.
-SH

I said when I get back.
-J

Honestly for being so brilliant sometimes you are thick.
-J

Too bad, I am already on my way to bother Lestrade, as per your suggestion.
-SH

Well don't cause too much of a ruckus.
-J

:)
-SH

The Yard isn't here to entertain you, Sherlock.
-L

I was only attempting to offer my assistance. You're overreacting.
-SH

There's nothing needing assisting at the mo. Unless you want to go rifle through all the cold case files AGAIN.
-L

No need. Am making citizen's arrest now. Will be back with perpetrators shortly.
-SH

Hold off! Where are you? You can't just go making arrests without us! Address NOW.
-L

Don't be dull, Lestrade. The entire point of a CITIZEN'S arrest is to make it without the police. I'm near the corner of Cockspur and Pall Mall.
-SH

I'm sending cars now. STAY WHERE YOU ARE.
-L

-----Oh now what is the fun in that?' Sherlock thought as he took in another sharp, cold breath of air. He brought a gloved hand to his neck and adjusted the flaring collar of his coat there. In a matter of moments the sleuth wheeled around the corner. This would be a bit of a run, but he was in shape and there was a criminal to catch.--
-----Roughly an hour later Lestrade approached him at a jog. His tan trenchcoat trailed behind him and fell to lick the backs of his knees as he stopped in front of the consulting detective. Words poured out his mouth, questions of course, but Sherlock wasn't listening. He rarely listened to Lestrade after a catch. Making certain to flit a gaze toward the detective inspector from the Yard every once in a while, Sherlock sent a quick text.

John, have made a citizen's arrest. Lestrade seems displeased. Not good?
-SH

Bit not good. You didn't wait for him again, did you?
-J

No. But John, that's the point of a citizen's arrest.
-SH

And those other times that weren't citizen's arrests?
-J


-----In a bit of an angry tone, Lestrade said something about talking to him again in just a second before tromping away for a moment to catch Donovan. She looked put out and frankly the death glares didn't make the situation much better. Sending her a flirty sort of grin he knew she detested, the dark-haired sociopath returned his attention to the mobile.

It's not like Lestrade is putting any real effort into maintaining possession of his warrant cards. Which reminds me do you want one? Might make it easier to explain away your illegal firearm.
-SH

It's illegal now?
-J

Last I checked you were well aware that soldiers don't get to just bring their guns home with them. Stop being coy or I'll make you my next citizen's arrest.
-SH

You wouldn't dare, especially after all the times my gun has saved your life.
-J

There are many more important reasons I would never arrest you, John.
-SH

Oh? I'd love to hear them.
-J

You pay the rent, for one.
-SH

You are much better to talk to than the skull.
-SH

You don't tell me to piss off.
-SH

I... Lestrade's here. I suppose I'll have to finish this later.
-SH

Right. Well make a list then for me and that should satiate your boredom for a while. Be back in an hour.
-J

Lestrade should have stopped lecturing me by then.
-SH

Just claim you're in shock again. Seemed to work fine the first time.
-J

Works better when you did what I'm in trouble for, than when I did it.
-SH

:)
-J

John, whatever you are doing to make Sherlock giggle at his phone like that I demand you stop at once. It's unnerving.
-L

I haven't done anything. Must be in shock.
-J
The second installment in this little texting fic my friend and I did for fun. :3 This one is getting a bit more into the narrative aspect.

I have to say I am totally overwhelmed by all the comments and faves on the first chapter so THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! I adore making these screenshot images + text for the 'covers' of the chapters. Hee hee.

Disclaimer: Don't own Sherlock!
© 2011 - 2024 celina-tamwood
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Less-Than-Obvious's avatar
I didn't do anything. Must be in shock.